Why making new (good) habits is so damn hard.

I think that most of us, if not all, have struggled at some point in making new habits. There is something that we would want to change or someone we would want to become, we know roughly what needs to be done in order to get there, we get started… but then after a while it just fades away and you’re almost back to square one.

Starting something new is usually rather easy for the first few days or even weeks, but sticking to it is the hard part. It’s really difficult to get to the point where it’s easier for you to do the new thing you want to do compared to not doing it. It’s a bit weird sentence but that’s where you need to get to in order to actually make some changes in the area that you want.

Let’s say you want to incorporate a new daily habit. For me personally it gets difficult when I miss 2 days in a row. One day is not too bad if you manage to get back on track the following day but 2 days in a row is already starting a new habit of “not doing”. And there are dozens of different excuses why a day might be missed, I’m sure you are familiar with all of them. I’m too tired, I don’t have the energy today, there is not enough time, there is something else I have to do instead, we were on a holiday, there is a much easier activity I could choose, I can to it tomorrow and so on :).

Throughout the years I have tried different techniques and approaches, sometimes succeeded but also many times failed. Obviously our lives are in a constant change and habits & actions that we want to focus on also change. When we at some point wanted to prioritize studying it now may be substituted with reading or spending more time with your family. But the fact remains that almost always there are some positive changes we would like to see in our lives and which require new habits to be formed.

I think it’s difficult to overemphasize the role of habits in our everyday life because life itself consists in a huge part of different smaller & bigger habits. You are, in a way, a sum of all your different habits. Yes, a lot of what happens is spontaneous and it’s good that it’s like that, otherwise it might get very boring. But at least most of us still have a lot of somewhat repeatable actions in our lives in day to day, month to month or even year to year basis.

Luckily if something doesn’t work out and you quit your new habit, you are still better off then in the beginning because you have still made at least a few steps in the right direction. And sometimes after making some small tweaks, it’s easier to go on from there. Not always, but sometimes. Imagine it like climbing stairs. You start from the beginning and slowly crawl upwards. After some time something happens and you stop. But you are still higher compared to the very beginning.

I wish I could have a golden answer to making a new habit work instantly with no effort. But I don’t and nobody does. Different things work for different people and no matter what you choose, there has to be effort involved. But one book/author/technique that I would suggest is Atomic Habits by James Clear. I am very far away from mastering habit integration (like really far away!) but this book has definitely helped me on the journey. Down below you can find a link to the book in Amazon, a short Youtube video based on the material and a brief summary of the main points of the book that was shared in the James Clear’s mailing list. I hope you find some value in them!

I wish you all the best of motivation and strength in forming your new awesome habits!


Book in Amazon


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