Tag Archives: funny

Cats vs Dogs

I’ve been lucky enough to live with a cat and a dog for about 2 years. Both are really cute but otherwise they are completely different. Here’s a little overview how it is to have a cat and a dog in everyday life.

BTW – although this post is really pro dog (:D) I love them both and they are both members of our family. Having pets is just awesome :)!

4AM in the morning

Dog – sleeps quietly in her bed without making a noise

Cat – decides to start “Rally de apartment” by running around through the rooms, climbing on the furniture, making alienlike noises, throwing things off the table and jumping on the bed.

4 AM in the morning, we shut the bedroom door

Dog – sleeps quietly in her bed without making a noise

Cat – decides to start “Rally de apartment” by running around through the rooms, climbing on the furniture, making alienlike noises, throwing things off the table and jumping to grab the door handle in order to open the bedroom door. Doesn’t succeed. Tries 250 more times.

Buying flowers or plants to home

Dog – doesn’t really mind them, just wants to get petted and thrown a toy

Cat – Oh, what a nice snack! I should eat them all and then puke all over the apartment to as many places as I can!

Coming home

Dog – every single time waits you at the door jumping and waiving her tail from happiness even if you just went to take out the garbage for 2 minutes

Cat – Dude, where’s my food?! Give me food! I agree to rub myself against your foot for 5 seconds if you give me food. (Followed once again by some alienlike noises)

Sitting on the couch with a laptop

Dog – naps besides you quietly so you have enough room to do work and pet her

Cat – climbs on the keyboard, hacks the computer and probably sends coded messages to other cats who are doing the same. Sits with his butt towards your face so you can’t see anything but the beautiful view I just described.

Washing day

Dog – sits quietly in the bathtub and let’s you wash her after she’s been playing around in the dirt.

Cat – (although we don’t wash him that often) – First find a medieval armor. Then put it on. Then grab a cat and try to fit him through the bathroom door while he hangs on with 4 paws spread as wide as he can against the door frame. Then with one hand try to hold him in the bathtub so he wouldn’t go on a rampage in the apartment and with the other one somehow try to wash him. Do as fast as you can. If you are alive afterwards then you have succeeded!

Buying a new beautiful cat/dog house

Dog – is really appreciative and curls herself in there nice and cosily.

Cat – takes a sniff of the new present and then finds the nearest half-destroyed empty cardboard box and takes it over claiming it his fortress

Trying to take a small nap

Dog – finds a place next to you to keep you warm

Cat – 6kg’s of cat finds the highest place he can, takes a deep breath and then there’s like a cannonball hitting your chest! Then repeat. Then infinite loop of repeat…

All the best :)!

Lauri

Google Translate at a new level :)

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Near our local Nai Harn beach there’s an old but still relatively usable outdoor gym. For a couple of times we have went there before swimming to do some exercises you otherwise couldn’t. But I had never read the instructions on how to use these machines before today. And now I’m glad I did :). I don’t want to make fun on anybody but it’s actually quite hilarious how translating these instructions from whatever language they were originally at to English has turned out. Here are some of the outtakes:

  • Stand on the footplates with your two hands enclasp the retaining bar. And your leg make pendulum movement emphatically (!). This appliance is suit for middle-aged and old. And just for two persons to use at the same time. You can’t get off the appliance until the rocker stop.
  • Function – to enhance the belly musdle stength and develop the flexibility and flexility (whatever that is 🙂 ) of the waist. By the way all typos are from the original writings 🙂
  • Stand on the circle plate balancedly with your two hands enclasp the armrests. And twist your waist and lower limbs 😀 left and right. This appliance is suit for all ages. And each for three persons.
  • Function – it can strengthen livers (if you happen to have more than one 🙂 ) and spleen, accommodate body’s incretion and spread meridian
  • Stand on the plate with your two hands enclasp the bars and sway your legs fore and daft as walking. Don’t sway your legs for and daft at the same time.
  • Function – it can enhance the strength of coxa and waist muscles
  • Sit on the seat with your hands enclasp the handles while your feet are on the plate. Then step the plates down with your hands pull the handles flatly. Must repeat this action.
  • Sit on the appliance and put your feet on the bar. And then step out headlong. And cycle to do like that. This appliance is suit for all age ranges (young people can use it too 🙂 ). And just for two persons to use it at the same time.
  • It act on four-part extensor muscle and channel of foot Taiyang. And enhance the alimentary canal and lower warmer function ( I even didn’t know I had this function 🙂 )
  • Face the double-disc, do horse stance (!) with two legs separate on the ground. Stretch your palm, cling to edge of the round disc with palms downward and then turn the round disc left and right with both arms.
  • Your two hands enclasp the bars and toggle when you do the movements. Dont the bars breaswise. And this appliance suit for the young and middle aged (sorry elderly people 😦 )

But ok, this is getting pretty far from English by now :). But I got a really good laugh and hopefully did all the exercises correctly according to the instructions :). And thumbs up for the people who can guess to what machinery these instructions belong to 🙂

All the best!

Lauri